wait...

Nevermind. I spent the whole day yesterday trying to figure out all my options for doing voice recordings only, and I only came out empty handed and utterly confused. There are just one too many options out there, and none of them work right, at least not for me. If you pick a website you like and you're comfortable with, it might not have audio hosting, so you're stuck, and you end up making it into a video, but videos with nothing but voice are insulting. So then you try a file hosting site and use those kinds of links, only to discover it takes the viewer back to their site and they have to download. I highly doubt anyone would want my voice automatically downloaded to their computer automatically. That's scary. All I know is, I tried it, and when I went to view the file, suddenly it re-downloaded itself right in front of me. I was like, I already have that on my computer. Shouldn't my computer know that?

So my last option is of course hiding myself away on a "podcasting" site, which turns my stomach. I don't like it: to be surrounded by SO MANY other people talking each other's heads off. That, and everyone acts so "professional" on those sites. How can you be professional when you're just at home sitting on your tushie, blabbering into a microphone? That's all most people are doing, including myself. What some smart web developer needs to do is create a site for low-key and cheap people like myself, where we can upload audio files and just relax. No stupid graphics of big important looking recording equipment, no claiming your files to be "shows" or productions, and no mention of things like bandwidth (whatever that is) or adsense or making money off your "show". All these things drive me away. So I relegate myself to some obscure corner of the web, sit down with my tea, and talk away, not caring about any static in the background or if I'm holding the mic too close. I need to be free in everything I do. I will not be controlled by the Internet Nazis.

So my point is, after spending ALL DAY yesterday pulling my hair out trying to figure out where to get set up, I said, to heck with it all. I'll just blog. I can't have these choices and options floating around me all day. I need to just be still and focus and concentrate. I went ahead and trashed my mic (I tossed the camera last week) so now I have no choice but to sit still and write. See I was trying to set myself free from all this typing, thinking voice recordings would be easier. It is, in alot of ways. But what happens with me is, if I don't have anything good or fresh to say, I'll revert back to my older stuff and start reposting it all over the place, which defeats the whole purpose of what I'm currently trying to do.

You know, maybe I should just start staying home. I already stay home in real life, so maybe it's time I should stay home virtually as well. Here in Butterfly House, good things happen. It feels like a personal place here, and these different blogs are like levels. I suppose by now, I'm in the attic. But attics are depressing so maybe I should cut a hole in the roof and sit on top. Don't laugh at me. I keep my sanity the best I can. Who knows what you would resort to to keep it together if you were in my shoes.